The Story of a Cape Cod Wedding: Inspiration

I have promised not to dominate this with posts about my own wedding planning, but I can't promise that I won't share a few details here and there. The story of my (gasp! really, mine!) Cape Cod wedding starts with this inspiration board:

 { Bouquet, pumpkins, mason jars with candles, cake, basket of blankets from Style Me Pretty;

Bridesmaid bouquets from James Bass via The Sweetest Occasion;

Groom's tie from Bows 'n Ties; 

Centerpiece from Real Simple; Dress from J.Crew; 

Tent from William Tangorra; Ribbon wands from Flights of Fancy  }

(Maybe someone wants to know how you put together an inspiration board. These are photos mostly collected over months of looking at blogs and saving copies of things I like. Some images I searched more specifically for based on an idea I had in mind. Keeping track of where the images can from is the hardest part. Then I play around with text blocks in MS Word and arrange the pictures until I like the way it looks. Snippet & Ink elevates this whole process an art form. Perhaps she'll one day let us all know how she does what she does.)   

What I (ahem, we) are looking for is neutrals, natural textures and seasonal without being overwhelmingly "fallish" for our October wedding. 

 

Why make an inspiration board? I think it helps your vendors understand your vision; it can act as a visual interpretation of the mood you are trying to set and the degree of  formality you are trying to achieve.    

But let's back up a second... what happens if you don't even know where to start an inspiration board? What happens when you have *no idea* what you want your wedding to look like, how you want it to feel?
Each wedding has to start somewhere. Maybe it's your favorite color. Maybe it's the venue you've selected or the dress you've fallen in love with. Like lemonade? You can plan a whole wedding around that. 

I really believe you need to pick just one thing that you LOVE, and base the rest of your decisions around that. Stick to things you love, omit the things you don't, and the end product will be an honest and unique reflection of who you are as a couple.

Cape Cod Wedding Shows 2011

A great place to meet vendors or a great place to watch grown women dive headfirst into a giant wedding cake to find a ring?

Some people love 'em. Some people don't.

Whatever your thoughts, here's a list of Cape Cod area bridal shows for 2011:

February 5
The Bridal Event, presented by the Cape and Islands Wedding Group
2-6pm at Willowbend Country Club
$15.00

February 20
South Shore Wedding Show
11:30am-3:30pm at Pine Hills Golf Club
$5.00

February 27
Bridal Showcase presented by weddingsoncapecod.com
11am - 2pm at New Seabury Country Club

TBD
Cape & Islands Wedding Affair presented by WellWed
Typically held in March. 

2011

Happy New Year!

Newly engaged and still pondering:
When to Get Married on Cape Cod? 
Those trying to nail down a date, here's a nifty Cape Cod calendar of dates to consider (or reconsider):

January
15,16, 17 -  Martin Luther King Weekend

February
6 - Super Bowl Sunday
14 - Cupid hit you with his bow, but he can't do much about the astronomical price of roses around Valentine's Day, which falls this year on a Monday.
19, 20, 21 - President's Day Weekend

March
17, 18, 19, 20 - For basketball fans (or fans of betting), the first two rounds of March Madness take place Thursday through Sunday. That would be 48 games in 4 days. It's a lot of hoops.
17 - Erin Go Bragh. St. Patrick's celebrated this year on a Thursday. Hopefully enough time for groomsmen and guests to recover from any Irish Car Bomb-inflicted hangovers. 

April
1 - Red Sox start the season on this Friday. No Fools.
2, 4 - Your team make it to the Final Four? Root them on on Saturday the 2nd, with finalists playing the championship game on Monday the 4th.
8, 9, 10 - Red Sox open at home on Friday the 8th. Against the Yankees.  And play them again Saturday and Sunday. See all Red Sox-Yankee game dates here.
18 - Passover begins at Sundown Monday.
24 - Easter Sunday
29, 30 & May 1 - Brewster in Bloom weekend. Brewster is bursting with daffodils, parades and other home-town festivities.

May 
7 - Mint juleps and big hats your thing? Share your wedding with Kentucky Derby Day. 
8 - Mother's Day, always held on a Sunday
28, 29, 30 - Memorial Day Weekend. The traditional start to a Cape Cod summer. BBQs, Figawi, & beach stickers required. 
TBD - High school's across the Cape usually host proms in May. Although this ties up some function facilities, the most noticeable impact would probably be a lack of limos. 
TBD - Love the fluffy pink, lilac and white rhododendron that are found all over the Cape? They bloom for just a few short weeks in late May and early June.  
 
June
4,5 - High school graduations might tie up some of your guests.
10- Play ball! The Cape League season kicks off this Friday. Tell your guests to check out a game while they are on Cape. See here for the 2011 schedule.
19 - Father's Day. Honor Dad on this Sunday, even if you choose it as the day he gives you away.

July
2,3,4 - July 4th falls on a Monday this year. Hotel rooms are at a premium and traffic is a nightmare, but you'll get a free firework display!
16-23 - There's a fair in the air. Not that the livestock at the Barnstable County Fair smells all that bad, but for the duration of the fair, traffic on Rt. 28 and Rt. 151 stinks.

August
7 - Pops by the Sea. Spend a little more time with your guests on Sunday by inviting them to check out the Boston Pops play at the Hyannis Town Green. This is one the Cape's premier events.

September
3,4,5 - Labor Day Weekend. The Cape Cod summer's last hurrah. Traffic can be bad and hotels can be booked, but I've often found there's a lot of good deals for weddings for this weekend.
10 - Like a quirky (and easy to remember) date? How about Saturday 9/10/11?
11- Patriot's Day.  Joy might be hard to find this Sunday, the 10th anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks.
23, 24, 25 - Bourne's 42nd Annual Scallop Festival. This old-time festival - it's not just about scallops - draws huge crowds that can tie up traffic on the Bourne bridge for the weekend. 
27 - Rosh Hashanah begins at Sundown Tuesday and lasts through nightfall on Friday the 30th

October
7 - Yom Kippur begins at Sundown on Friday and lasts until Sundown on Saturday the 8th 
8, 9, 10 - Columbus Day Weekend
15,16 - Enjoy some of the famed Wellfleet Oysters at the weekend Fest.
31 - Hallowed Monday Eve

November
11 - Veterans Day (A Friday... also another quirky date: 11/11/11)
24 - Thanksgiving Thursday 

December
7 - Pearl Harbor Day, this year on a Wednesday
20 - Hanukkah begins at Sundown on Tuesday and lasts through Sunday on Wednesday the 28th
25 - Christmas falls on a Sunday this year.
31 - For all you party animals who want to kick off 2012 with a new hubby at your side, New Year's Eve falls on a Saturday this year.

Cheers to 2011!

To Favor or Not to Favor: That is the Question

What do you think about party favors?

From little baggies filled with dime-store trinkets to mini bottles of champagne, party favors run the gamut from the mundane to the sublime, but are they always necessary?

Far too often at the end of a party I watch catering staff throw away all the leftover favors. And really, when it comes down to it, how often do you use that singular wine glass engraved with "Emily & Chris 9.12.09"? It's tucked away in the back of your cabinet until you give it to the really clumsy guest at your next huge party.

Don't get me wrong... I love myself a little schwag. New pair of flip flops? I'll take 'em. Pretty candle, sure. But I just adore the favor that is so cute, so personable and so meaningful to the hosts, that it adds style to the entire event. Here are some of my favorite ways of thanking your guests:

 

{ Martha. Of course. }

 
I love that these potted orchids are both the centerpiece and the favor. I think favors should almost always do double duty: centerpiece/favor, placecard/favor, etc.

{ The Knot }

Making a donation to a charity in lieu of a favor has long been a 'favor'ite idea of mine. I've recently read some negative comments about this idea that surprised me. Evidently, somewhere, some guest actually wants something physical to take home with him or her from an event (evidently a full stomach doesn't count). Yeah, I think those people are bunk. If you are afraid that guest is attending your event, you can tie a little note about the donation to a decorated cookie or a bag of Jordan Almonds.

{ via }

Lottery tickets. At a wedding, attach them to a placard that quotes Willa Sibert Cather: "Where there is great love, there are always miracles." For added fun, hide them under the charger plate for your guests to find when your first course is cleared.

So here's my two cents on favors:
Birthday parties for the elementary school set - yes, a favor is required. Even if it's the plastic bag full of dime store trinkets.
Adult parties - maybe.  They are a 'charming custom, but are in no way required or expected,' according to the Emily Post Institute. If you are going to favor, make sure it's a reflection of who you are, and your inherent style.

And maybe try to make it edible. Those always seem popular. 

Love Is...Part 2

More Shoreside guest "book" ideas I've been collecting...

{ Make a Wish, Take a Wish. It fulfills my need for 

apothecary jars and seashells. }

{ 'Leaf' a thumbprint on a Wedding Tree via; or all over Etsy}

 { Vintage Cape Cod postcards }

{ Or have guests sign a object you could use to decorate your home, like an oar...}

{ ... or a pair of Adirondack chairs }

Bachelorette Survival Kit

Just now recovering from an all-out crazy bachelorette party. (They are all crazy, I know, but this one was really off the charts. Really) We hit it up big in Provincetown, which is just about the awesome-est place ever for a bachelorette party. We did drinks, dinner, visited a few "specialty" stores, saw a drag show, tripped into more than a few bars... Obviously, this is the G-rated version of the night.

Lots of love to all the girls who planned this for our dear friend... And a special shout-out to the one who put together these little charmers:

Bachelorette Survival Kits

Wet Wipes, a stain pen, band aid, tissues, mints, chapstick, hair tie, nail file, a certain safety precaution in case anyone got frisky (no - not the bride) and a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card.

Relax

{ Completely Coastal }

The past few days I've been talking a lot with a mother of the bride, who is very anxious about her daughter's upcoming wedding. They are just about a week away and are furiously trying to tie up loose ends. It's all small things, really, but in the few days before your wedding, everything seems of such dire importance.

I've pointed them toward places to get a few of the things they still need to buy, made some suggestions on the timeline, helped track down a vendor or two.

But the most important thing I think I've told them is this: Relax. It's all going to be fine.

Did you know September is the busiest month for weddings on Cape Cod? Understandably so. The craziness of the tourist season has passed, but the weather is still great.  There's a lot of September brides out there, so I'll tell you all, too: Relax. It's all going to be fine.

Use Labor Day weekend, so fast approaching, to take time off of work -- the work of planning a wedding. Go on a little pre-honeymoon. Do the thing you've been meaning to do all summer but haven't had the time. Or sit your butt in chair and gaze out at the ocean.

And relax. It's all going to be fine.
 

If You Don't Like the Weather, Wait a Minute

I'm so thankful for the gorgeous spring we've had here on Cape Cod: Sunny, warm (sometimes downright hot), blue skies, and hardly any rain.

But yesterday? Yesterday was the perfect example of waiting just one minute for the weather to change.  In the middle of the afternoon, it started to rain. While the sun was still out. It rained for just a minute. Then, a short while later, it rained again.  The rain continued for 30-second intervals every, oh, 23 minutes or so. Sometimes it down-poured and thundered.  Sometimes it rained very gently on just one side of my house. And in between these short bursts of rain, it was a perfectly lovely day. 

This little story has a point.

Plan for rain.

{ Weekend Host }

Renting a Private Home for Your Cape Cod Wedding

It seems so easy. Rent a house for the weekend and set up a tent for your wedding. A private beach for the ceremony, a nice big lawn for the reception. There must be hundreds of places on the Cape to do this....Right?

Wrong. 

People who own waterfront property on Cape Cod are fiercely protective of it. The houses are often old family homes, or were terribly expensive to purchase, and huge money is involved in their upkeep. Beaches are fragile. Lawns get damaged by trucks, tents, catering equipment, and 150 people trampling around celebrating a wedding.

And if for some reason someone doesn't mind the idea of 150 people gettin' jiggy in their backyard, the neighbors might mind very much.

Alas, a few of these elusive spots exist. They usually permit only a handful of weddings a year - a few in May/June, and a few in September/October.  At nearly all the houses you must set up a tent, provide portable restrooms, make transportation or parking arrangements, hire a caterer. And the pricetag for one of these places is in the high four figures, or more.

But make no mistake, these are truly the premiere venues of Cape Cod with their incomparable beauty, stunning views and the opportunity to create something incredibly personable and reflective of everything you love about the Cape.

So how to find this Private Home Available To Rent That Allows Weddings, which isn't advertised, is seemingly impossible to track down on the Internet, has becomes a long series of phone calls and following up on rumors: "I think I heard of this house in Chatham, maybe it was Brewster,  that sometimes allows weddings..."?

Some select caterers and wedding planners maintain inventories of these private homes.  Need more help? Email us and we'll point you in the right direction.

{ Private home in Orleans, via Grazier Photography }

{ Private home in Chatham, via Erin Curran Photography }

{ Private home in Chatham, via Sand Dollar Ceremonies }

Wedding a Deux

There's a day during the process of planning a wedding that you'll want to chuck it all and elope.
If eloping looks like this, I'm in.

{ Kate Webber via Style Me Pretty }

Happy Monday, y'all.

Too Much Tequila?

Hangover Helper Kits.

{ Tommy Hilfiger via ELLE Gift Guide 2009 }

{ Swanky Stylings }

{ Wedding Obsessions Blog }

We All Scream for Ice Cream

This warm weather has gotten me thinking about ice cream. Whether it's Four Seas, or Sundae School, or Smitty's, Ice Cream Smuggler, Ben and Bills or Emack & Bolios, if you've spent any kind of time on Cape Cod, you've got your favorite ice cream shop.

So how about a little ice cream at a Cape Cod wedding?

{ Ice Cream Parlor from Eat, Drink, Chic; Cones in candy stripes from Santa Barbara Chic; JFK;

Kids stealing from the cart from Aisle Dash; Chalkboard of flavors }

Many of the Cape's ice cream parlors sell wholesale to caterers and venues, so you might just be able to have a lick or two of your favorite flavor at your wedding. Mine's Four Seas Coconut. What's yours?

 

April Showers

I didn't see it, but evidently, right in the middle of last month's Bachelor Wedding, the skies opened up. The bride & groom were drenched.

They could have used an umbrella.

{ I LOVE this pagoda umbrella from Bella Umbrella. They sell - and rent! - all kinds of unique, vintage, colorful umbrellas }

{ Can't go wrong with the classically cheerful rainbow }

 { or just classic, by Burberry }

{ April showers bring May flowers... 

Shh. Don't tell. This one is from Walmart }

{ Navy, white & nautical. I'm all aboard on this one, 

again from Bella Umbrella }

{ An umbrella built for two }

Did You Know? Tidbits about making it official in Massachusetts

Did you know your father, aunt, friend or the guy down the street can pronounce you husband and wife? Your officiant does not need to be a member of the clergy or a justice of the peace. Each and every Massachusetts resident can officiate at one wedding per calendar year.  If you want to do this, your family member or friend will need to get a One Day Marriage Designation from the state. Check out the pretty simple process here.

Did you know marriage licenses are issued by cities or towns? Each town has different requirements (such as providing a birth certificate) and charges different fees.  Statewide, there is a three-day waiting period for a marriage license, you do not need to have a blood test, you must be over 18, and you do not need to have witnesses.

Did you know your marriage license is good for 60 days anywhere in the state? You do not have to get a marriage license from Chatham even if your wedding is in Chatham. The person performing your wedding will need to sign the license and mail it back to the town that issued it.

Did you know marriage between same-sex couples is legal in Massachusetts? We've been doing them since May of 2004.

A Sweet Little Chapel: Kelley Chapel, a Cape Cod Wedding Site

Kelley Chapel in Yarmouth Port is just about the most darling little wedding chapel you'll find.  Down a secluded gravel path. Set in a sunlit meadow. Nestled in the woods. Surrounded by nature trails. With a charming little history.

The chapel was originally constructed in 1873 by Quaker David Kelley for his daughter Rosa after the death of her infant son. She used the non-sectarian chapel, which at the time was located in South Yarmouth near the Quaker Meeting House on North Main Street, to teach bible lessons to village fishermen and their families. The chapel was donated by a Kelley family descendent to the Historical Society of Old Yarmouth in 1960, at which time it was moved to its current location. The woods surrounding the chapel comprised the first-ever golf course on Cape Cod, created in the 1890s for private use by the Thatcher family. It's a short walk from the chapel to the heart of historic Yarmouth Port, including the Edward Gorey House and the Capt. Bangs Hallett house, which has the most amazing English Weeping Beech tree on the grounds.

Today the chapel is used for community events and can be rented through the historical society for weddings.

{ Christopher Setturland via Cape Cod Today }

Make no mistake, it is tiny. Only 60 or so people fit inside. In typical Quaker fashion, the interior is unadorned. A handful of pews, an old wood stove and a little organ dominate the space.

But there's something completely enchanting about it, don't you think?

The Road to the Altar

This week we're focusing on wedding ceremonies - where to have them, how to decorate, what to say, and who can officiate. We'd love to hear your ideas! Email us at shoresidebride@gmail.com.

{ Cape Cod Wedding Ceremony }

From the Expert: Cape Cod Wedding DJ

Today is the first in a series of profiles on Cape Cod wedding experts. Taking the mic first is Cape Cod wedding DJ Chris Baker.

"Weddings aren't just showing up and playing music," he says. Wedding DJs need top-of-the-line professional equipment and the polished voice of an MC to lead the crowd through each part of the festivities, from first introductions to the last dance. They need to know their music and know how to play the room.  A good DJ, says Chris, can jump around to different styles of music to appeal to the ages and tastes of all the guests, but have it all blend together to create a cohesive and distinct soundtrack.

Each couple's selection of a wedding song is a unique and intimate reflection of their taste and who they are as a couple. The music they choose sets the mood, the style of party, and distinguishes their wedding as their own. It's important to share who you are and what you want with your DJ.

"It's great to have input," says Chris. "I'm not going in with a set play list. I don't want something the guests have heard at the last five weddings they've been to. The night's not about me, it's about the couple."

But Chris cautions against the couples who want to spell out the playlist for the entire night. "The Do Not Play list is the easiest thing for people to do. Give me the Must Play list. But be flexible." No one can pre-judge what people want to hear; you have to give them what they want to hear that night. A reputable DJ, says Chris, will be able to improvise, adapt and overcome anything that happens to make the night a success. 

On par with the national average, wedding DJs on Cape Cod charge $600.00 to $1,600.00. Many couples, looking to save money, are opting to program their own Ipod for their wedding.  But Chris points out home stereo equipment isn't nearly sophisticated enough to prevent gaps between songs, blend songs together or produce a volume appropriate for the venue.

And ultimately, creating a party on the dancefloor - knowing when to keep the energy up and when to slow it down - takes serious skill and experience. Chris, who has been a wedding DJ since 1989, says, "You spend so much money on your wedding... In ten years people don't remember what they ate at a wedding, but they remember if they had a good time, if the music was good. Trust your DJ will know what to do."

 { boogie down }

Sunrise, Sunset

Want to know what time the sun is going to set on your wedding day? Look here.
You'll first enter your (or your wedding locale's) zip code. When the location information pops up, scroll down to enter your wedding day.

What a beautiful place Cape Cod is...
 

{ photo courtesy of the ultra-talented Steve Drozell }